Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if only i could text you this smell
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
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We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
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Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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