I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
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'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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