Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
