Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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