is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
