Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
