i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
