Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
