You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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