batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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