I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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