You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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