I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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