The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize