Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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