I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
