McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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