Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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