I think i peed on brittanys purse
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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