they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
