I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm really busy with my period
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