I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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