true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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