I want to have your abortion
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just want nice things and good sex
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
