On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize