You really coming over, don't trick.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
