Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
