Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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