It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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