2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
