i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize