It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
