Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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