dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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