he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
