I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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