I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize