remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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