Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize