I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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