They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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