she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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