chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
