i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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