stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
