i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
