I wish they made helmets for livers.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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