upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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