He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you're hired as official boob wrangler
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
