I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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