I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
