Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
