If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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