apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
