Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
