Me. At least after what I've been through.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
