This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
