you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize