Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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