It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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