My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wear drunk well.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
