Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
