How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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